Post by sex ees gud on Oct 6, 2005 23:11:33 GMT -5
For the past few weeks i've felt myself falling. I barely eat anymore. I hate food. I barely sleep anymore. I hate sleep. Most of all, i hate me. I'm a hypocrit for having said to people that they must work for happiness, because it's what i've been trying to do, and i've failed. I thought i was getting better on Monday and even Tuesday, i thought i was having a good day even though it was Jess's deathday. But now. Now i can't do it. It's all too much. I'm overwhelmed. I can't keep up with my college work. I can't eat. I can't sleep. There is so much **** raging through my head but i'm not alloud to let it out...and even if i was...i am so evil. In the end, i will be evil. In the end...i will be God. **** with my fiddlesticksING parents. In January i wanted to kill them. I was going to. I wanted to. Ginni put a stop to that. Am i relieved that she did? I'm not so sure any more. I can't do it now anyways, i'd never get away with it. He said i can't do it now. I'm sick. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of this game. I'm so sick of jumping in and out of here and there. Help me. I have no friends. I sit, waiting for the friends i thought i had, only to see them walk by and look right through me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me where to go. Help me. I thought i was making a friend. Help me. He left me. I'm all alone, just like i always was. Someone...please tell me what is wrong and why i can't fix it. No one believes me. No one listens. No one cares. They think i lie. They think i want to be like this. Don't they understand? He will kill them. Help me. I'm drowning...T_T
