the heartless freak hell friend club

[sex ees gud]

here, we'll...do what we do best. Offend, make fun of and create sarcastic remarks.

whose in?!

lol

[Shodan]

i am not sure if that is for the best. i mean a joke is a joke, and it is all well and good to joke, and laughing at the religious has been a part of secularity for as long as the two have existed. But ultimately it does nothing but reinforce the wall that the religious and the secular have built up between each other, which is not what we are aiming for now.

that said, if the christians were to make a similar thread, and the two groups could joke about each other and have it be just that, a joke, then i would have less of a problem.

[sex ees gud]

if they want to, they can.

I grew up in a family that makes fun of each other and tears each other down. It gives me a sence of security

(seriously, we can't stay around each other without cracking a sarcastic joke. It's awesome)

[Shodan]

i agree with that. if you are able to laugh at yourself you are able to laugh at anything.

it is a wonderful little defence mechanism.

[sex ees gud]

agreed. My dad gets mad sometimes because i can't stop laughing when someone gets hurt (seriously, my friend broke her arm and i couldn't stop laughing) but i laugh at myself when i get hurt. Maybe it isn't a good thing. But i have fun.

[Skylarking]

My family's like that too, except my dad and brother don't always know when to stop. I don't joke much with them anymore, despite the fact that I have an incredibly dark sense of humour and I'm constantly laughing at myself.

[Shodan]

some of you know my sense of humour and how... odd it is. well my dad is just me with 30 years of experience. our conversations rock.

[Phobic of Tragedy]

My family sucks. They're holier-than-thou bible thumpers who can't joke, but are offensive in a serious way.

[*xoxo*]

yeh i have no problem w/ it as long as we all know we really love each other and it's all in good fun

ie. "YOU BUNCHA HELL DAMED SINNERS!!!" lol....

of course i'm j/k...

[Shodan]

Alright. The things in this thread are jokes. Do not take them seriously. And christians, feel free to make a thread like this about us, and we will treat it likewise.


Stipulation: keep it clean, and not aimed at anyone in particular. This makes paedophile priest jokes out, as well using this thread as a means to take a jab at another member. If any of the other mods object to this, we will work something out.

To get the ball rolling, one that is likely to not offend


Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

[*xoxo*]

haha..actually that's kinda funny...cuz it's true ur talking about ushers rite? the ppl who take the offering?

[sex ees gud]

niiiice shodan

i'll have to think of some not overly offending jokes and post them later, but at the moment, i'm waiting my turn to play DDR!!!!

[Phobic of Tragedy]

Darn, the only religious joke I have may or may not be innapropriate. I won't risk it. I'll find something later. =P

[Shodan]

top ten signs you're a fundy(stolenborrowed from elsewhere)

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

[|9/\/y]

I don't get the joke.