Post by JCsAngelPen on Apr 7, 2005 17:51:12 GMT -5
This is an article I wrote that was recently published on an online magazine. I thought I'd share it with y'all.
Healing My Heart
by Laura
I write letters to God every week. I just don’t mail them. Instead I write them in my prayer journal. It chronicles two years (so far!) of emotions, events, praises and prayers. It’s my journey. And it’s been a long journey.
On the inside cover of my prayer journal I wrote my favorite verse. “You number my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?” -Psalm 56:8 (NKJV)
I think that verse describes my journey. Oh yes, I’ve cried a lot. And to know He sees every tear and records it...now that’s powerful!
My road started with praises and not to much trouble, but soon my entries turned a different direction.
“August 8, 2004 - I know I’ve pushed You away and let anger and hate dwell in me. I don’t even feel very sorry. Am I Your child? Then why do I not want to hear Your people and why am I pushing away? What’s wrong with me?”
Prayer journals are great because they pack all your emotions into one book. That entry asked God some heartfelt questions. At the time I wrote that I felt so alone and neglected. The next entry was three days later, and I sounded fine then. Sometimes it’s all an issue of getting it out of your system.
However, later that year I became slightly depressed.
“October 7, 2004 - Oh, God where are you? I can’t feel You, hear You, or sense that You’re here. I don’t know if I can face tomorrow. I want to live right and obey Your word. I want to change. I need Your help.”
Recovery from feeling down is not easy. But it does come.
“October 16, 2004 - ‘You will never walk alone as long as you have faith’ Oh how I know that to be true! Thank you for letting me make a new friend today! You have blessed me with so many sweet sisters on . You are a good God!”
All my depression, joy, intercession, pleading, brokenness, praises, answered prayers, questions, Bible study, special verses, and spiritual changes are documented in my written prayers. I go back and read my entries every once in a while. I had no idea I felt some of those things. I’ve found amazing little things like the answer to this entry:
“June 3, 2003 - Father, You have my life. Use me, please, to impact someone’s life this summer. Give me an opportunity.”
Wow. When I think about it, God answered that prayer. I met a sixteen year old girl, Lauren, on a Christian discussion board website. She first came to me with lots of questions about Christianity. She was an agnostic, but was looking for answers. I befriended her, shared my testimony and answered her questions as best as I could. Well, in December 2004, she accepted Jesus as her savior.
You can imagine that my prayer journal entry the day she told me was jubilant! I know God used me to help her, just as He has used so many girls to impact my life.
That’s my journey so far. I can tell you that writing those down has helped to heal my heart. When you’re hurting, God alone can wrap your wound in love. He cares when nobody else will.
I encourage you to try journaling your prayers. Pick up a notebook or empty journal and write God a letter today. You may just be starting the journey of a lifetime.
Healing My Heart
by Laura
I write letters to God every week. I just don’t mail them. Instead I write them in my prayer journal. It chronicles two years (so far!) of emotions, events, praises and prayers. It’s my journey. And it’s been a long journey.
On the inside cover of my prayer journal I wrote my favorite verse. “You number my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?” -Psalm 56:8 (NKJV)
I think that verse describes my journey. Oh yes, I’ve cried a lot. And to know He sees every tear and records it...now that’s powerful!
My road started with praises and not to much trouble, but soon my entries turned a different direction.
“August 8, 2004 - I know I’ve pushed You away and let anger and hate dwell in me. I don’t even feel very sorry. Am I Your child? Then why do I not want to hear Your people and why am I pushing away? What’s wrong with me?”
Prayer journals are great because they pack all your emotions into one book. That entry asked God some heartfelt questions. At the time I wrote that I felt so alone and neglected. The next entry was three days later, and I sounded fine then. Sometimes it’s all an issue of getting it out of your system.
However, later that year I became slightly depressed.
“October 7, 2004 - Oh, God where are you? I can’t feel You, hear You, or sense that You’re here. I don’t know if I can face tomorrow. I want to live right and obey Your word. I want to change. I need Your help.”
Recovery from feeling down is not easy. But it does come.
“October 16, 2004 - ‘You will never walk alone as long as you have faith’ Oh how I know that to be true! Thank you for letting me make a new friend today! You have blessed me with so many sweet sisters on . You are a good God!”
All my depression, joy, intercession, pleading, brokenness, praises, answered prayers, questions, Bible study, special verses, and spiritual changes are documented in my written prayers. I go back and read my entries every once in a while. I had no idea I felt some of those things. I’ve found amazing little things like the answer to this entry:
“June 3, 2003 - Father, You have my life. Use me, please, to impact someone’s life this summer. Give me an opportunity.”
Wow. When I think about it, God answered that prayer. I met a sixteen year old girl, Lauren, on a Christian discussion board website. She first came to me with lots of questions about Christianity. She was an agnostic, but was looking for answers. I befriended her, shared my testimony and answered her questions as best as I could. Well, in December 2004, she accepted Jesus as her savior.
You can imagine that my prayer journal entry the day she told me was jubilant! I know God used me to help her, just as He has used so many girls to impact my life.
That’s my journey so far. I can tell you that writing those down has helped to heal my heart. When you’re hurting, God alone can wrap your wound in love. He cares when nobody else will.
I encourage you to try journaling your prayers. Pick up a notebook or empty journal and write God a letter today. You may just be starting the journey of a lifetime.
