Ho hum

[Phobic of Tragedy]

This place has been almost dead the past few days.

And I'm lonely here now. Ugh.

[hoarpumpkin]

agreed

if it were mine I'd probably delete it

I pasted the link in my gp signature on the off-chance of luring some n00bs

[Phobic of Tragedy]

GP n00bs=some of the worst n00bs ever. But I guess they're also some of the most likely to join.

Well, this is boring. I wish I had a life, so I didn't have to rely on online-places to amuse me when none of my online-friends are on AIM. (sigh) This is what I get for having crack head RL friends who I'd prefer not to hang out with during the week.

[hoarpumpkin]

I just have no friends. Tom is coming home friday, so I'll finally have some semblance of a social life again

but right now I'm sick and so not terribly concerned with going out anyway

[Phobic of Tragedy]

I've been sick and not so terribly concerned with going out for months now...litterally. Hopefully that will change within the next few weeks though...yay for prescription drugs?

My boyfriend works from 9 AM-6PM Monday-Thursday and 10 AM-9PM Fridays, Saturdays, and sometimes Sundays. So on the off chance he has a day off, that's when I see him. =[ And he's like the only friend I trust to see during the week, because all my other friends are usually doing some kind of drug, and I'd prefer not to feel like crap coming down at school. Plus, my boyfriend will come here or pick me up and take me to his house. My friends usually go out, and I have to search for a ride...heh.

EDIT: (Wow, sorry about the novel-length post.) In addition to this, I've recently realized that I don't really have close friends...I don't trust the people I used to trust, and my best friend is in jail, my closest guy friend torments and picks on me tirelessly and I'm getting frustrated with it, and my closest girl friend snapped at me over something and we haven't talked since.

[hoarpumpkin]

my boyfriend'll be working full time when he comes home too.. usually from sometime (10?) until 5 mon,wed,fri, and 7 on tues and thurs. only 2 on sat though. So that works since I work til usually 9 or later tuesdays and thursdays anyway

since summer, I've spent time with friends other than him probably not more than 5 times

[Phobic of Tragedy]

I don't go out too often either. As stated above (in an EDIT), I don't really trust any of my friends anymore, and the only person I still really trust other than my boyfriend is in jail right now. I don't drive. My parents assume that any time I leave the house I'm going out to get high or drunk or do something illegal, so they try to prevent me from leaving when they can-and my dad scares me and I don't feel like getting into it with my mom most of the time, so it's not even worth trying to go out. I stay home and online most of the day...I have more online friends (who I trust more than my RL friends anyways) than I do RL friends in total. So I talk to them a lot. I'll go out to shows with people every once in a while, when I feel like dealing with my parents. But that's not very often anymore. Otherwise, I see people at school, and that's about it.

This summer, all of June I'll be gone though. And then I have a babysitting job (ugh...the best thing I can say about this is its untaxed work) the rest of the summer. Hopefully that will occupy me. I hate feeling like a cow from sitting here all day.

[hoarpumpkin]

my worst problem is that I'm entirely introverted and standoffish. In september my best friend turned out to be a worthless, backstabbing, stupid piece of ****. it was months before that when I just sort of lost touch with other friends, for various reasons.
I can drive but there's no place worth driving to. Maybe if gas wasn't so expensive I'd amuse myself by wandering about, particularly late at night, but as is I don't want to waste the money.

this summer I'll have tommy and be working part time at my cruddy but very well-paying job and wishing fervently that by some miracle it will be august and I'll be heading off to college. I'm hoping I'll be able to make some friends there

[Phobic of Tragedy]

I've become more introverted over the past few months...since August, things have just been a mess...and it just doesn't seem to end...which is discouraging. So I just try to stay away from people and stop the mess from getting even worse. Before August, I was fine going out...I really ENJOYED it. But now I usually find myself panicking in crowds, eagerly awaiting getting home, feeling constantly anxious when I'm anywhere where there's more than a few people in the room and so on. But then, at the same time, I usually find myself feeling like crap when I'm home...my parents are either fighting with each other or yelling at me and I get tired of that too. Haha...I can't make up my mind. I wish I were old enough to move out of here and move in with someone that I know I feel comfortable around, wihtout having to go through the legalities for it.

My best friend will be out of jail on my birthday though...I can't wait. Exactly 2 weeks. ^_^

Yeah, I'm sure getting to college will be nice for you. =] Lots of new people...

[hoarpumpkin]

I've been intensely shy and introverted since I can remember, although I've also always been comfortable with people I'm familiar with. Over the past year as I became more comfortable with that, I've ironically become a lot less shy, but now I have like 0 social skills and really no freakin clue on how to make friends. that's why the friends I have had have been so crappy... they've all found me... like predators, vultures, expecting some weak, easily manipulated little pawn to make them feel better about their own pathetic existances. Um, in general, lol

I've been trying to be more optimistic and less judging. Kinda hard to escape the mindset that no one is worth knowing if you don't already start getting to know them

[Phobic of Tragedy]

I used to by intensely shy around my family, and people I didn't know particularly well. But I could also be extremely outgoing around people I did know. Over the years, my dad and his...uhm...issues, friends who "grow up" and start acting like idiots (or ***s), and different people doing thigns to lose my trust in them has deteriorated my outgoing-ness. I've got the whole "you can't trust, rely on, or really know people" perspective...so I just avoid people. And I've tried getting over it...but the minute I think I've got it overcome, and I think that my relationships with friends are back to "normal", something will happen that will completely change that.

I've been described as judgmental and pessimistic (and hostile) since I was like...10. But I tend to come off like that without realizing it. For a few years, mostly through middle school, I started trying to act more friendly...but it didn't get me anywhere at that time. I'm really not all that judgmental, or hostile, and I can be pessimistic, but I usually have reasons for that...I guess it's the fact that I don't give people a chance to get to know me enough to realize that, that would be the reason I come off that way. (sigh)

Yes, and these are all definately hard mindsets to get out of.

[hoarpumpkin]

yeap, I think I've generally been much the same way, but sadly I don't really have any reason for it. Most of my harder feelings and negative expectations have been caused/strengthened by the long line of nasty characters no one could trust. but what if I had just sought out the decent kids, if I hadn't been so shy? why did I stick around the people I did instead of say the girls in my brownie troup? or is it really not my fault, and I'm a victim of genetics and bad luck?

either way, that's why I'm trying desperately to abandon those mindsets. I'm trying to look at everyone I don't know as "(s)he might be a really good/fun/cool/interesting/friendly/trustworthy person". I think by now it's definitely up to me to change my attitude and pursue relationships in college. Except then I'm afraid I'm fooling myself and it'll be just as hard with people I've never met as it is with the people I've just never gotten to know all these years in highschool and middleschool and even earlier.
*sigh*
I'm just going to marry tom and adopt several cats instead lol

[Phobic of Tragedy]

I'd like to be able to look at people that way. But it's become such a...lifestyle now, I guess I could say, that the first thing I think about people is "...just another person to screw things up even more that I already have." See, I either end up trusting people too much, or having no trust for them at all. And the people that I've trusted too much are the people I never should have trusted, and the people I never trusted, are the people I regret not getting to know better. That probably adds to my inability to be outgoing...you just never know what the outcome of a "new friendship" could be-and that...well, that scares me.

I think, whether it's as hard as it was in high school or not, you'll be able to make friends in college-because now you know what you were "doing wrong" and you're trying to change it. Plus, I'm not sure how much this applies to you, but these people know nothing about your past and are more likely to want to be friends with you for who you are now rather than who you were back when.

I had a friend who told me every day that the minute she graduates, she's going to "beautify" herself, marry one of "People's Top 50 Beautiful Men" (or whatever that is), and then buy a hundred cats, a nice house, and tons of food with his money and eat until she dies of a heart attack, in that house, with those cats. Some aspiration, huh?

[Skylarking]

I have a plan to sleep with some rich prettyboy, get pregnant, and then he'll have to marry me, as to not shame his family. Yes, there are many, many flaws to that.

As for the topic that this thread has become, I'm fairly introverted as well. I can get along with anyone in shallow, meaningless conversation, but I only have one friend I'm actually really close with. I hate crowds, too. I won't go into public on my own, if I can help it. My dad hates it because he feels like he has to baby me. But once I'm home I ignore everyone as best as possible. I'm not going to last very well on my own haha.

EDIT- I hope you don't mind me budding in the conversation.

[Phobic of Tragedy]

I plan to drop out of school, get a decent job, make enough money somehow to move out the second I turn 18, depending on my relationship status at the time, move in with someone I'm comfortable wtih or find something on my own, continue to work, meanwhile start taking classes through correspondance, and eventually get my GED and possibly go to an art school, if anything at all. I never want to get married, never want to have kids.

Or I could just threaten to kill Jesse and dispose of his body in the woods (and then make off with all his money) if he doesn't support me the moment I'm able to move in with him. Ah, love. =]

I'm about the same, Colleen. I have Jesse, and he's really the only person I'm close to anymore. If Tay weren't in jail, I would say I was closest to him, but I never talk to him anymore, so sadly enough, that's not true anymore. Hopefully that will change when he gets out though...gah...I love him too much for it not to. I'll go in public on my own, if I have to, but usually that's not the case...usually I just don't leave the house. I don't know how well I'll do when I'm on my own either. =\